The shades of my reality

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Can a Dom/sub relationship transcend the bedroom and translate into the more traditional relationships we are used to? If so, how do you navigate the grey area of an almost “normal relationship” while keeping your submission alive?

This is a question that’s been plaguing me. For the past three months I’ve been dancing between seeing someone and submitting to someone. It’s been a sometimes challenging balancing act, but it’s also been an amazing experience.

I probably think I’m more unique than I am. I don’t know if a straight up Dom/sub relationship would work for me. This isn’t just a flash in the pan, it isn’t just something I like in the bedroom. I find great joy and peace of mind spending time with a man who commands more of me, of my energy than any previous relationship.

I love dropping to my knees in the kitchen to take him in my mouth with just a look from him. To have him press my head to one side as his mouth, his teeth lay claim to my body as we ride the elevator. Being tied, lying at his feet as he works, brings me more peace than I ever thought possible, but how do we navigate between that and the more mundane side of life?

Today I feel a little confused; more satisfied in life and moving through my days with an increased calm I never dreamed of having. However, in the back of my somewhat logical mind I wonder just how long this can last.

When we fulfill the next three months of our agreement will I still have a place in his life? It’s not just the sub in me that worries, she would be hurt, but the woman in me who sees the man in him is fearful of the future, and she is holding us back from really submitting all that we have to this man.

How did I let myself become this vulnerable to one person, I swore going into this I’d be more careful.