Slowly but surely I am crossing the line between a woman playing at BDSM and a certified, submissive with masochistic tendencies. I don’t know why this surprises me, I’ve been dancing this line for the past eight months.
Some days I struggle, obsessed with the fact that this would not fit any ‘normal’ definition of a relationship from my family’s perspective. While others like today, I declare myself to him over and over again without so much as a second thought.
Those thoughts are always there, both the good and the bad…..I might find myself jealous of his female friends, or insecure around certain fantasies we share, but at the end of the day I know where I am meant to be. If not at his side, then just one step behind.
Some of us are leaders, we approach life, love and work with a strength and passion that is hard to mistake. While some of us feel insecure with that kind of responsibility and we shy away from the lime light. For me my place is in his shadow, striving every day to make his life a little easier, even when I fail miserably and stress him out with my insecurity.
There is nothing wrong with that. How can you know the light if not for the dark? How would you know good if there were no evil? To every yin there must be a yang, and he is mine.
Today I know who I am, I know whose I am, and I know my place. With Him.