It’s funny how the internet turns even the most shy and introverted people into flirtatious, seemingly outgoing social butterflies. It’s even more interesting how people evolve online. At first this dominant male tested the waters, he gently pulled from me one secret after another, sharing my excitement with obvious delight and telling me he felt the same.
I enjoyed the thought of submission, he was a dominant male who wanted someone he could share that with. I wanted to relinquish control, he wanted to show me how to harness that desire. I was excited by the prospect of impregnation, he wanted nothing more than to fill my belly and mark me as his forever.
After a while I told him my darkest secret, how I have fantasized about calling someone “daddy”, not acting like a child, maybe the young innocent but not a child. I didn’t think that this would turn him on, but he latched onto it unlike I ever expected. All of a sudden I was “his”. He told me I was not to talk to anyone else, that I wouldn’t need to any more. He demanded my phone number, reassuring me when I questioned him that he was in California, and it wouldn’t affect my phone bill, and fool that I was I gave it to him.
It took me all of two messages before the phone number raised the first red flag. One common denominator in the men I’ve met online, is that each and every one of them has underestimated me. When his phone number showed up with an area code I didn’t recognize, it didn’t take me long to look it up. Even if a phone number is unlisted, you can find out where someone is just by looking up their area code, and as I expected…not on this continent, in fact half a world away in Australia.
I wish that I could say I ditched him….I wish I could tell you I realized he was lying to me, but I can’t. In fact when I confronted him and he took the defensive route, I listened to his weak excuses, about how that was his home country and he was here on business. His company pays for it…yadayadayada.
By that time he was like a drug, a secret, dirty, delightful drug that was releasing unknown and previously unfelt endorphins in my body. The fact that he didn’t live near me made if feel safer. So when he continued to message me…..I replied. Having him in my life made it easier to ignore the fact I went to bed alone, it made it less stressful that my partner had absolutely no interest in me, and it made it possible for me to ignore his drug habit…….
Then he started calling me, at first it was ten or twenty minutes during the day, but when I started house sitting, he would call at night, and it was all too easy to forget.