Brutal honesty; written a few weeks ago

Sometimes I think I’m in too deep.

Like when he looks at me and says, “Are you scared of me?”. I know what he means, and I know that out is only a six letter safe word away.

I always tell him part of the truth, that no I’m not afraid of him, but at the same time I leave out so much.

Like, “I’m more afraid of what you have come to mean to me,” and “I’m afraid of what I will do when this is over.”

I know that day isn’t tomorrow. I have till the very least the spring equinox. Probably a lot longer after that, but the thought stays with me.

I thought I could do this without getting too involved, I don’t think that is a reality any longer.

4 thoughts on “Brutal honesty; written a few weeks ago

  1. night owl says:

    Oh, kitten. I know exactly how you feel. I thought I could keep my emotional distance with Sir S but I underestimated the intensity of D/s for me.

    ((HUGS))

  2. loneyheart says:

    people play at this D/s life. but there can be no true submission wtihout trust and trust comes from deep emotions. You can not give your body so fully without falling in love. My master has yet to touch my body and i have fallen so in love with him that i have no control over myself any more.

  3. Submissive M says:

    You cannot give yourself completely to someone without give your total love. Surrendering body is easy. Surrendering heart and emotions is the tricky part. I`ve felt exactly the same and I held back. It was painful and confusing for me. He helped me with few talks and than I decided to let go… I surrendered completely. Now, I feel whole.

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