Today I took some time to read through some blogs written by submissives, then inspired by my findings I explored a website filled with questions and answers from submissives to some really supportive and informative Dominants. The common themes I found where both inspiring and frightening, it became very clear, very quickly how much I am not alone in my fear and my insecurities.
There is a resounding theme amongst subs the world over, to all of us the sun rises and sets on the man we call Master. Whether a sub or a slave, a girlfriend, a wife or an online lover; in a 24/7 power exchange, a live in situation, or a couple of nights a week, we need our Dom to feel complete. For every one of us our power comes from our submission and our pleasure, our happiness, our desire stems from knowing that our submission brings our Dom unmeasurable, unparalleled joy.
When things are good, when we feel their attentiveness, when we are sure of our place at their side or at their feet then we are on top of the world. No power on earth could wipe the smile from our faces, we greet the world with a glow that emanates from within and to look at us you can see that we are an immovable force. We gain our strength by relinquishing our control, and that is not for the weak at heart; for how many of you could arch up to greet the snap of a thick leather belt as it dances up and down your backside.
Yet when the coin is flipped, when we realize or imagine that their attention has faded or waned, it is as if the world has ended. Oh yes, we know we will survive, we know that we will move on, but a part of us went with them. One blog I read told the story of a sub who’s Dom proposed, only to find he had been emailing his ex, telling her the day after he proposed that he missed her and the thought of her excited him. She talked about struggling to find the heart to forgive him, and when she finally was able to, she couldn’t figure out how to regain the trust that was necessary for her to submit to him in the bedroom.
This woman’s story struck a cord with me. How many of us have found ourselves doubting our worth because of something someone else has done? How many of us questioned our worth and thought ourselves lacking because we lay all that we are at the feet of someone who can choose to love us or abandon us.
I drove home from work thinking about her, and myself. I want to cup her face in my hands, look into her eyes and tell her, “You offer the most precious gift to him. In submitting you give him more than just the key to your heart. You trust him with your mind, your emotional well being, your love and your adoration. In kneeling at his feet you offer him more than any other woman could, but you owe it to yourself not to give too willingly. He must be the caretaker, he needs to truly deserve all that you have to offer. Love yourself, please, love yourself.”
So where ever you are in life, where ever you are in your journey of submission, know that you are not alone. There are others out there who feel your uncertainty, your excitement and your fear.